Weddings are happy occasions. A Goan wedding can be a little more than that. There’s so much excitement and fun packed inside a Goan wedding celebration that you would think that we should have weddings every day. Yet, you will notice that some people cry at a Goan wedding. Why? What is the source of this spontaneous fountain? Is it sadness? Or has joy manifested itself differently at the wedding of a dear one?
Much before the wedding, the parents of the bride are normally quite anxious to find a suitable match for their daughter. So are the parents of the bridegroom. And one day it all falls in place. The match is fixed, the date is set and the wedding preparations are on in full swing. The awareness of the marriage is there for a long time to savor. The day before the wedding there is plenty of frolic with friends, neighbors and family pouring in to partake in the festivity. It is all heading for a party of their life.
When the big day arrives, everyone is agog with excitement and happiness. You see that the family members are all busy and getting their own stuff ready for the moment when the bride or the groom will stand near the altar and the moment of “blessings” arrives close. This is the first instance of watery emotions making their debut. You will notice the moist moments rolling at the time when the parents or the close ones involve themselves in the blessing ceremony held just before the bride or the groom leaves the house for the nuptials service. Along with the blessing there will be a tight embrace, a cheeky touch for the camera and often….tears flowing uncontrollably. Sometimes there is a deep outburst of crying and sobbing even as the bride or the groom leaves the house.
One would suitably justify the tears on the side of the bride whose parents could be feeling torn by the inevitable departure of their daughter from the house where she probably spent all her life. However the case is not too different at the home of the bridegroom whose parents and dear ones could also be seen shedding many tears as they bless their dear son. So what is the reason for the teardrop fall?
Some people say that certain moments in a person’s life can trip emotions. It may be partly the sense of uncertainty, the yet-to-be-experienced joys and sorrows, memories, surprises, disappointments, achievements and setbacks. Emotions are stirred by the sense of love and attachment to a particular person .The reason could be a combination of all these feelings. Many believe that it has something to do with the unexpected future with a new person for the person ( the bride or the groom) in question. Some parents digest the suspense of the future outcome of the alliance with unexpected fears and may also consider it as a parting away from one sphere to another sphere of life.
The next occasion where you might see the tears rolling at a wedding is at the time of the wedding toast. If the toastmaster is a person close to the family, he or she can fan emotions quickly, bringing to mind childhood times , anecdotes, close experiences, tragedies, difficult times etc which have the potential to stir deep feelings and thereby raising the moistness in the eyes of parents, siblings and friends and very often hastening the trickle of teardrops even before you know. Sometimes memories of your son or daughter as a child tend to flash back to parents at that moment, catalyzing the tears to release in a stream.
Often, the absence of a dear family member can mean a lot to the family and emotions can be much higher in these cases. Even the bridal couple can be found in tears at the end of their own reply to the toast or at the time of their wedding speech when they remember a lost one. Many a times, a deep connection with siblings and parents is also the key for the eyes to swell uncontrollably. These are therefore impromptu feelings gushing after being stirred by a particular thought provocation and are described by many as a symbol of the deep bond within the family members. Some believe it could be a sense of hope for the bond of love to continue among the family with the entry of a new person on both the sides.
The third time you may see crying at a wedding, albeit rarely, is at the time of the wedding special song. Many a time, I have found wedding couples especially at foreign weddings in Goa where the bridal couple hug each other during their first dance and sob into each others’ arms while dancing. This has probably a lot to do with their love story and their feelings for each other as two people coming together to set a lifetime. At the end of the wedding reception you would witness some teary moments as well when the bride and the groom depart from the wedding venue.
Some feel that the reason for such feelings emanating from both families of the bride and the groom has something to do with a sense of a new family springing up. In modern times, in Goa, everyone wants to set their own new home to carve a new nest and this aspiration is often well known to the parents of the bridegroom. As such some feel that the impending vacuum waiting to be caused due to the new chapter in the life of the bridal couple is also a reason for the sense of strange sorrow.
Others say that it is joy mixed with the pain of detachment which could be a reason many people cry at a wedding. Some opine that certain moments in a person’s life can trip emotions. It may be partly the sense of uncertainty, the yet-to-be-experienced joys and sorrows, memories, surprises, disappointments, achievements and setbacks etc. Emotions are stirred by the sense of love and attachment to a particular person .The reason could also be a combination of all the above feelings.
Crying in itself is often a spontaneous reaction to a situation and weddings in goa are no different. So while joy is the obvious major output of a wedding, many who have close ties with the bridal couple will always take refuge in a tear or two to help themselves contain a surge in their emotional graph.